Things to Know About New Jersey

1. If it snows, people talk about it, always. Half an inch of snow means everyone starts panicking and talking only about snow; once 2-4 inches are predicted, people begin to wonder whether or not they should attend work. To me, this is ridiculous.
2. Jughandles are the devil. They perplexed me when I first came out here, and now they just anger me. Yes, I understand the principle; three right turns = one left. And yes, I'm sure there are plenty of idiots out there who would turn left at the non-arrow light and get broadsided. I get that. But jughandles make very little sense, because the right turn at the end is just as dangerous, considering most of the time you're forced to stop in order to properly yield.
3. "Pike" means "road" and not a kind of fish or spear.
4. People totally freak out when you take too long to turn left because you prefer to err on the side of caution. Seriously, calm down.
5. People in New Jersey hate Delaware; the forty-nine other states hate New Jersey.
6. People tell me that southern New Jersey is full of hicks, but all I see are old people in Moorestown.
7. Bruce Springsteen is a hero here. I think he's so-so at best.
8. The beach is not called the beach. If you say "I'm going to the beach" people will probably look at you funny. If it's the coastline of Jersey, it's called the Jersey shore.
9. Wawa is basically a 24/7 Subway with a convenience store taped on. Very handy if you work second or third shift frequently as I do.
10. It costs $4 to leave New Jersey going into Pennsylvania and nothing coming back. No wonder people hate it; you have to pay to leave.
11. Camden is awful and I never want to see it save from the PATCO train. Never.
12. Speaking of the PATCO, it runs from fairly far into southern New Jersey (Lindenwold) all the way to Philadelphia at Locust/15th and 16th. It's $4.70 for a round trip last time I rode. Also it gives you dollar coins, which are useless in any situation that does not involve the PATCO.
13. Southern New Jersey belongs to Philadelphia and northern New Jersey belongs to New York City. This has the side effect of southern New Jersey/Delaware being fans of the Phillies, Eagles, and Flyers. I wondered why I was in New Jersey and no one liked the Devils; this is because the Devils are in northern Jersey, making them "just another New York team".
14. My Name is Earl takes place in the county immediately next to mine. I should go searching through the trailer parks.