Roadtrippin' 101

So after some discussion a few weeks ago about some road trip sights I pointed out to my friend Josh, I was asked to basically draw up a hypothetical plan or two for a trip up to Acadia National Park in Maine. Though I will be thoroughly jealous of their travels, I decided to whip up something akin to what I usually do for Dana and my road trips.

First of all, the destinations, in order:
Boston, Massachusetts
Salem, Massachusetts
Portland, Maine
Acadia National Park, Maine
Montreal, Quebec
Burlington, Vermont

Leg 1: Collingswood, New Jersey to Boston, Massachusetts
Leg 2: Boston, Massachusetts to Acadia National Park, Maine
Leg 3: Acadia National Park, Maine to Montreal, Quebec
Leg 4: Montreal, Quebec to Collingswood, NJ

State by state attractions below. Color coding is: Quick stops/statues, museums and amusement parks, hikes, and restaurants and snacks.

New Jersey

1. FDR's Giant Head (12 N. Rochdale Ave., Roosevelt, NJ) - Just a giant bust of the 20th century president. Apparently the town changed its named shortly after FDR's death in the 1940s and put up the colossal head in homage to the guy. Apparently the amphitheater containing the bust is falling apart enough to be a little creepy. (+14 minutes, public display)
2. World's Largest Lightbulb and Edison Memorial Tower (37 Christie St., Edison, NJ) - A large tower peaked with a thirteen-foot light bulb intended to memorialize the state's greatest inventory. It marks the place where Edison's workshop once stood in Menlo Park, where, among other things, Edison invented the light bulb and was the first person to record and play back sound. (+4 minutes, museum open 10a-4p Tuesday-Saturday, free with recommended donation)
3. World's Largest Water Tower (US Hwy 22, Union, NJ) - Pretty much what it sounds like - a water tower that's really tall. It's actually in the Guinness Book of World Records. (+9 minutes, public display)
4. The USS Ling Submersible Museum (78 River St., Hackensack, NJ) - While technically a submersible, the Ling is for all intents and purposes a World War II era submarine. The main tour guide is named Tom Coulson and apparently served on the same class of ship, so he knows a ton of technical details about it. (+0 minutes, 10a-4p Saturday-Sunday, $12 / person)

Connecticut

1. The World's Largest Dairy Store (100 Westport Ave., Norwalk, CT) - A ridiculous tourist trap filled with all the best tourist trap-y stuff, including a bunch of animatronic bands (milk cartons singing songs, yes please) and a cow that apparently tells jokes. Sounds awesome to me, and probably good for a snack. (+3 minutes, open 7a-11p all days)
2. National Helicopter Museum (2480 Main St., Stratford, CT) - Includes some strange early helicopter designs and details the history of the helicopter. Apparently it's at a train station nowhere near a helipad or airport. (+5 minutes, open 1p-4p Wednesday-Sunday in the summer)
   
3. PEZ Visitor Center (5 Prindle Hill Rd, Orange, CT) - Why wouldn't you want to go to a PEZ museum? You get to see how PEZ is made, stand next to a ten-plus foot tall dispenser, and be enthralled by the history of PEZ. Seriously, go to this. Apparently opened in early 2012. (+2 minutes, 10a-6p Monday-Saturday, 12n-5p Sunday, $5)
4. Frank Pepe Pizzeria Napoletana (157 Wooster Street, New Haven, CT) - A great pizza place, in addition to being one of the oldest, opening its doors in 1925. Second only in my mind to Lombardi's in New York City and has a Yelp rating of 4.32 average with nearly 500 ratings. (+0 minutes, 11:30a-10p Monday-Saturday and 12n-10p Sunday)
   
5. Neon Turkeys (2443 Boston Post Rd, Guilford, CT) - Just plain awesome. Unfortunately, this isn't very exciting except in November and December, when the turkeys are outside, but apparently Gozzi's Turkey Farm dyes their turkeys neon colors during Thanksgiving time. (+1 minute, public display November and December)
6. Wells Dinosaur Haven (2464 Rte 32, Uncasville, CT) - A bunch of dinosaurs built by a guy who's made it one of his life's hobbies. In his wooded back yard live several neon-painted dinos, including a full-sized T-rex holding a mandolin. Long pants are recommended to hike through his dinosaur-laden yard. It's a private display, so you have to call and ask permission to trot around. (+19 minutes, private display, call 860-848-0616)

Rhode Island

1. The Enchanted Forest (Hwy 3, Hope Valley, RI) - The remains of an amusement park rotting away in the wilderness. One should probably ask permission before heading onto the property, but there are lots of pictures available featuring disheveled bumper cars, a rotting pirate ship, and a few other long-shutdown attractions. There's apparently no gate, but hike through at your own risk. (+0 minutes, potentially private property, abandoned site)
2. Grave of Suspected Vampire (Victory Hwy., Exeter, RI) - The headstone marking the grave of one Mercy Lena Brown. A bunch of her family started dying without explanation (as was common in the 19th century) and eventually she succumbed, too. After being buried, she was exhumed two months later and her heart was found to be quite fresh, so of course, she was clearly a vampire. They removed the heart and burned it, because that's the only way to be sure. It's more a good story than a good stop, since the headstone doesn't mention her vampirism. (+2 minutes, public site)
3. World's Largest Bug (161 O'Connell St., Providence, RI) - A huge termite mounted on the roof of an pest control business. It's 58 feet long and cost over $20,000 to make. Wowzers. (+0 minutes, public site)
4. Rhode Island's Modern Diner (364 East Ave., Pawtucket, RI) - One of the 1940s Sterling Streamliner diners, and the first ever diner to be added to the National Register of Historic Places. It's one of two Streamliner diners to remain in operation nationally. (+4 minutes, 6a-2:30p Monday-Saturday and 7a-2p Sunday)
5. HP Lovecraft's Grave (585 Blackstone Blvd., Providence, RI) - The prolific horror writer's gravestone. Frequently attended by his fans who like to leave weird objects near the grave in his honor. Maybe they're trying to summon Cthulhu? (+6 minutes, public site)

Massachusetts

1. The Museum of Bad Art (580 High St., Dedham, MA) - A ton of paintings and sculptures that qualify as horrendously bad. A lot of them could probably be described as "so bad they're good," but probably not. Apparently they have a good amount of turnover, so you can go back again and again! (+9 minutes, 6:30p-10:30p Monday-Friday and 1:30p-10:30p Saturday-Sunday)
2. The Original Dunkin Donuts (543 Southern Artery, Quincy, MA) - The first of the east-coast institution. Last year this shop was retro-renovated, as it had been upgraded since its 1950 inception. (+7 minutes, open 24 hours 7 days a week)
3. The World's Largest Nearly Perfect Sphere (Hancock St., Quincy, MA) - Made of granite and weighing almost ten tons. It's polished on a regular basis and quite shiny. (+3 minutes, public site)
4. Boston, Massachusetts - A city filled with a ton of history. When Dana and I visited, we ran around and saw a plethora of old churches, the USS Constitution (the first ship in the US Navy), Paul Revere's House, the site of the Boston Massacre, the Massachusetts State Capital with its trademark golden dome, some awesome graveyards with original colonists buried therein, and of course, clam chowder from the beautifully named Boston Chowda Company. The age of the city is evidence from the basic layout of the streets, which zig-zag every which way with no real rhyme or reason.
5. Salem, Massachusetts - Another historic city, famous for its frenzied witch hunts in the late 17th century. There are plenty of museums to be found, including the Salem Witch Museum and the New England Pirate Museum. Plenty of random gift shops and unorthodox witch-related shops abound.
6. Dogtown Ghost Town (Dogtown Rd, Gloucester, MA) - The last home was built in Dogtown in the early 19th century, and since, everything has fallen into disrepair. The area also features large boulders with random advisory inscriptions carved into them, like COURAGE and LOYALTY. These carvings were made by a man named Roger Banson, who apparently hated and feared the force of gravity so much that he implored local colleges to attempt to come up with a way to defeat it. (+37 minutes, public site)

Maine

1. Animal Store (301 US Hwy 1, Kittery, ME) - A gift shop filled with about fifty full sized stuffed animals, including a pair of moose locked in antler combat. Outside, there are several wooden sculptures carved with chainsaws. (+4 minutes)
2. Lenny, the Chocolate Moose (419 US Hwy 1, Scarborough, ME) - The mascot of an ice cream parlor, Lenny is a full-sized moose made out of milk chocolate. Apparently the sculpture has existed for about fifteen years. Probably worth seeing and grabbing an ice cream snack before Portland. (+6 minutes, 9a-8p Monday-Saturday and 10a-8p Sunday)
3. The International Cryptozoology Museum (11 Avon St., Portland, ME) - A museum filled with weird twists of "nature" which are more than likely just a bunch of bunk, but don't let that spoiled the fun of it! (+9 minutes, 11a-4:30p Wednesday-Saturday, 12n-3:30p Sunday)
4. Eartha, The World's Largest Rotating Globe (2 DeLorme Drive, Yarmouth, ME) - A huge globe, apparently 131 feet in circumference, makes one full rotation every eighteen minutes. It's free to enter the lobby, but the globe is visible twenty-four hours a day through a large window. (+2 minutes, 9:30a-6p seven days a week)
5. The Monster of Unfathomable Pedigree (4 State Rd, Bath, ME) - Probably the best name for a sculpture ever. This red junk sculpture resembles several things, but it's tough to pin down exactly what it's supposed to be. Still, because of the name, you should probably go visit it. (+9 minutes, public site)
6. Mainer C. Lobster Statue (161 Main St., Woolwich, ME) - The only thing goofier than the Unfathomable Pedigree Monster is this one. He's apparently the mascot of a seafood restaurant and takes the form of a lobster with googly eyes and one buck tooth. (+8 minutes, public site)
7. Statue of the Little Ambassador (230 State St., Augusta, ME) - A statue of a little girl who, at ten years old in 1982, wrote a letter to the Soviet Union urging for peace. She died a few years later, and a statue was erected of her releasing a dove in honor of peace. (+3 minutes, public site)
8. World's Largest Non-Stick Frying Pan (Crosby St., Pittsfield, ME) - Brought out every year in July for the Pittsfield Egg Festival, where it cooks several dozen eggs at a time, apparently. The festival is held the first weekend in July. (+12 minutes, public festival)
9. Paul Bunyan's Birthplace (519 Main St., Bangor, ME) - A statue of the mythical lumberjack looms over his purported Maine birthplace, axe slung over his shoulder. Apparently over a dozen states claim Bunyan for their own, including Minnesota. (+4 minutes, public site)
10. Chainsaw Art Show (734 US Hwy 1, Hancock, ME) - Ray Murphy, a Santa Clause lookalike with a penchant for sculpture, holds art shows from June to September every year. His canvas is a block of wood and his tool of choice is the inelegant chainsaw. You can e-mail him at chainsawray at hotmail dot com for showtimes. Apparently he's made over 57,000 sculptures. (+0 minutes, e-mail for showtimes)
11. Wilbur the Lobster (792 US Hwy 1, Hancock, ME) - A roadside attraction consisting of a twenty-foot, bright red fiberglass lobster. Probably a nice photo opportunity with Maine's most famous animal. (+0 minutes, public site)
12. Acadia National Park - Featuring plenty of hiking through woodlands on the coasts of Mount Desert Island. The island has some excellent views, including those from Cadillac Mountain, where visitors can view the surroundings and look out upon the ocean. Also of note is Somes Sound, once described as a fjord but now more accurately described as the fjord's younger brother, the fjard.
13. Angel Falls (Bemis Track, Houghton, ME) - A waterfall that occasionally resembles an angel when the water flow is just right. Apparently quite far off the beaten path. Described as "remarkably scenic". (+47 minutes, hike)

New Hampshire

1. Santa's Village (Jefferson, NH) - A curious little park themed around Christmastime but only open in the summer. It has a few Christmas and wintery-themed rides and is a symbol of bygone days where Christmas theme parks peppered the east coast. (+5 minutes, $26/person admission, open from mid-June to Labor Day)

Vermont

1. Cheese Factory Tour (2878 Main St., Cabot, VT) - A tour through a functional cheese factory. There are plenty of free samples, so it's well worth the $1 admission charge. See how the Vermont cheese stacks up to Nichole's home state's. (+8 minutes, $1/person admission, open daily 9a-5p)
2. Ben and Jerry's Factory and Flavor Graveyard (Rte 100, Waterbury, VT) - A tour of the Ben and Jerry's factory where dozens of ice cream flavors are conceived and manufactured. The tour includes free samples, and the flavor graveyard displays rejected and retired flavors in Ben and Jerry's history. (+2 minutes, $3/person, 9a-9p in the summer and 10a-6p otherwise)
3. Round Church, Devil Resistant! (25 Round Church Rd, Richmond, VT) - A sixteen-sided church, about as close to round as you can get in the 19th century. Apparently it's round to prevent there from being any corners the devil can hide in, but I'm not convinced. A sixteen-sided church has a lot more corners than a regular one. (+14 minutes, public site)
4. Whale Tails (I-89, South Burlington, VT) - A pair of granite tails stick out of the ground on the site of the interstate south of Burlington. Probably a pretty interesting thing to notice as you're driving into town. (+16 minutes, public site)
5. Memorial Park (Home Ave., Burlington, VT) - Just a nice stroll through a park but... wait, what is that? Apparently this park is filled with several lion-headed, crouching statues that defy explanation. (+8 minutes, public site)
6. Four Corners of the Earth Deli (310 Pine St, Burlington, VT) - The perfect complement to a hippie college town is a hippie sandwich shop! Dana and I rolled through this place on our way up to Montreal, and the sandwiches were pretty fantastic. It has a 4.30 rating on Yelp, and the sandwiches on the menu are named after locations. Cash only. (+0 minutes, opens around noon)

Quebec

1. Montreal, Quebec - A great city, and probably the closest you'll get to a European city without crossing an ocean. It's a lot of fun just to walk around a bit in, though on our visit Dana and I visited a few landmarks like the Montreal Olympic Stadium, the interestingly-colored Parliament Building, and dropped by the parade for La Fête nationale du Québec, AKA Quebec National Day. Obviously, the whole city is pretty hopping during that day, which happens to be June 24; so if you get the chance, check it out. Also, everyone loves poutine!
   

Vermont

1. Ausable Chasm (US Hwy. 9, Ausable Chasm, NY) - "The Grand Canyon of the East," purportedly. Looks like a nice place to stop and gawk, as the chasm features a nice group of waterfalls. Better for hikes than a roadside stop, and very popular with the French Canadian tourists.
2. Santa's Workshop (324 Whiteface Memorial Hwy., North Pole, NY) - The oldest theme park in the United States. Seriously. Originally opened in the late 1940s in northern New York state, it was the brainchild of a businessman whose daughter asked him to take her to Santa Claus' summer home. Also features the world's first petting zoo. Pretty awesome and intentionally preserved. ($17.95 a person for adults)
3. Creepy Davey Crockett Statue (2828 US Hwy 9, North Hudson, NY) - A 20-ish-foot-tall representation of a mountain man outside of a trading post. Apparently there was a frontier-town attraction that originally built and owned him, but he was auctioned off to the trading post in the past decade. (public site)
4. Elephant Rock (Route 8, Hague, NY) - A larger-than-life-sized elephant "statue". It's more of a big rock that was vaguely shaped like an elephant that someone painted to further resemble one. Pretty neat looking. (public site)
5. Benedict Arnold Boot Memorial (648 Route 32, Stillwater, NY) - More of an oddity than something you would probably want to see (with a price tag), the statue depicts the leg of Colonial General Benedict Arnold. He was apparently pretty badly wounded in the area during the Battles of Saratoga. His name was later extracted from the monument after he defected to the British side. (Open 9a-5p, $10 or National Parks Pass)
6. Grave of Uncle Sam (42.762481,-73.668111) - Samuel Wilson of Troy, NY was posthumously given the title of "Uncle Sam" by his granddaughter. His grave is here, usually decorated with lots of American flags and various other fanfare. (public site)
   
7. Uncle Sam Statue (River St., Troy, NY) - Probably a bit cooler than the above Uncle Sam grave, this statue made out of aluminum stands next to a bus stop. It's modeled after the popular image of Uncle Sam and not the actual guy. (public site)
8. Big Nipper (7 Tivoli St., Albany, NY) - And I thought Moorestown, NJ had a lot of Nipper statues. This guy stands on top of a building along with his victrola phonograph. The building used to belong to RCA, but now is some kind of moving company. (public site)
9. Opus 40 (50 Fite Rd, Saugerties, NY) - A large sculpture piece built out of an old quarry in the Catskills Mountains. It would be fairly impressive on its own, but then you realize that this entire sculpture, spanning six acres, was built over thirty-seven years by one guy. He used hand tools and blasting power to create a giant monolith and tiered rock sculpture. Definitely fits into one of the criteria that Dana and I look for in awesome places to visit: it's a labor of love. For all his effort, Harvey Fite lost control of a mower and was thrown into the quarry at the age of 73. (Summers, Friday-Sunday, 11:30a-5p, $10 admission)
10. World's Second Largest Garden Gnome (5755 Route 209, Kerhonkson, NY) - Take a look at some second-tier history. The gnome stands on the side of Route 209 on a guy's farm. (10a-8p in the summer)

From there, a quick jaunt back to south Jersey completes the trip. Now I want to take this same road trip, and this certainly provides some great stops whenever you're planning on taking a trip through New England!