Things to do in Minnesota

So, in light of the upcoming trip back to Minnesota in just over a month, I figured I should compile a nice list of great (and really, moronically stupid) things to do. Mostly daytrips and whatnot, since it'll be hard to have a car the whole week. See if you can guess the ones I'm really excited about.

1) Of course, the only real reason to visit Minnesota is the MALL OF AMERICA (44.85N, 93.24W):

Featuring something like sixteen thousand GAP stores, forty Hooters restaurants and the largest population density of motorized carts in the world, it's the happiest place on earth. There's also a theme park that used to be called Camp Snoopy in the middle of the whole thing, but now it's something like Spooky Joe's Rollercoaster Emporium or something. I can never keep track.

It used to be a fun daytrip to drive up to the Mall of America, but then I lived in the Twin Cities and it became one of the two malls I would visit when I needed a specialty product, or whenever Andrew needed to pick up soap (sensitive skin?). The magic kind of drained out of it at that point, but that's okay. It's still fun to take people there who've never been before, considering it's probably one of the things the Twin Cities are most known for. That's really sad.

2) Darwin, Minnesota's famous LARGEST BALL OF TWINE IN THE WORLD (45.10N, 94.41W):

I've never seen this, but it looks pretty great. I mean, I know a lot of people are twine fans out there, but it takes some dedication and determination to create the largest ball of it in the world. Or not. A machine probably made it or something. Anyway it's a good representation of the good ol' America tourist trap, and there's nothing about that I can't endorse or support.

3) The Famed Austin SPAM Museum (43.68N, 92.98W):

If there's one thing southern Minnesota is known for, it's SPAM. Hormel Foods Corp has long been rooted in Austin, MN and about seventy years ago invented the canned, precooked "meat product". Over seven billion cans of SPAM have been sold, and remarkably, all SPAM sold in the Americas and Australia is made either in Minnesota or Nebraska. Gross.

Anyway, I've never been to this one, either. I really want a SPAM t-shirt or trucker hat.

4) The University of Minnesota Campus (44.97N, 93.24W)

The place that was my home for four years and that, stupidly enough, granted me a Bachelor's Degree. There's a new stadium that I haven't even seen (but I paid for and am still paying for) that would be neat to at least see, especially since it's within spitting distance of my old apartment building. Dana will need to tolerate eating at the best Burger King and Chipotle ever, and grabbing a smoothie from Jamba Juice in Coffman Union.

5) Lark Toys (44.30N, 92.00W)

One of my favorite toy stores in the world, and the former workplace of my grandma. The place has a plethora of current and old-school toys all over the place. It was pretty fun when I was a kid, but I'm sure it'd be even better now considering I have money. Also home to one of the best carousels in the world, every piece hand-carved by a local artisan guy.

6) The world's second largest thermometer in International Falls, MN (48.60N, 93.41W)

I've never been nearly this far north, but International Falls, Minnesota is considered the coldest city in the continental United States, and has the country's second-largest thermometer to prove it. The largest is actually in the hottest place in the continental US - Death Valley, California. It's far away, but hey, it'd be cool to be this close to Canada. Or something.

More later.